Selling a dead animals stuffed with foam

A dead deer used to to hang in our garage.  I wonder if my daughter ever wonderred whether the rest of the deer was hiding behind the wall.  She never asked but putting a quarter of a dead deer on the garage wall is bound to bring up some questions.

I sold it on ebay and was really proud of myself the the price I got for it, that is until I discovered that shipping was three times more than I charged.  I didn't lose money, but I don't feel any richer for the experience. 

I guess I went full cycle in a bizare world of dead animals stuffed with foam...sold on ebay...expensively packed in more foam...and now hanging in Texas. 

Which part is the weirdest?

Reduce Noise and Speed

I had a great several days last week at Boise State Universities MBA Upgrade program.  It was a chance to connect with professors and classmates as well as meet new people.  It was also humbling. 

I finished my MBA in 2005, back when leveraging looked really smart and investing looked pretty easy.  So many things have changed since getting my huge, barely fit under my arm and would be dangerous to carry in a wind storm, diploma. 

So for three days, I was reminded by distinguished professor after professor that "forecasts are always wrong" and other comforting mantras.  Two things stand out from all the presentations:

1.  Eliminate the noise (reduce variation).
2.  It's the turns that make it hard.

First, eliminating noise is much harder than it sounds.  I once bought a house that looked awful inside.  My Realtor said that I just had the "Freshen up the walls".  A month later I was still covered in paint.  Eliminating static or reducing variation is all about concentration.  But the hard part is deciding what to focus on.  Determining the noise from the song can be nearly impossible, especially if you rely on media for your data. 

Second, it isn't just that turns are hard to predict, the market is going so fast that even if we see a turn coming, we're moving so fast it is difficult to make the turn.  Analogy for Canadians and those living in other places that say, "you betcha" or "aye", it is like trying to turn and slow down on ice, the faster and heavier the vehicle, the more likely you won't make the turn, even if you see it.

So where does that leave us?  What's the point? 

Let me give you a driving analogy since I'm on a roll.  When you drive you have priority areas to give your attention.  One of the most important is looking in front of the car as the highest priority.  For many people, the stereo, GPS, phone, and hot girl jogging by are more important, but that also explains the reason we have traffic jams and high insurance.  The tachometer is important but not as much as the speedometer.  Also, conditions should influence your speed.  I recommend driving about 95 when you are in Nevada on a drive clear day.  If you are in the mountains shrouded in fog, during an ice storm, slowing down may help.

So, as you drive your career, investments, and life, what are your conditions and where should you watch to keep from crashing? 

You tell me.

Feeling Smug for no reason

This past weekend I felt smug doing the following:

1. Driving my dad's hybrid (Toyota Camry)
2. Boarding a plane before the other losers

One of the many mysteries of history is why royalty and the powerful from by-gone eras had people that would go before them proclaiming things. Maybe I watched too much Monty Python (Minstrel praising Sir Robin) rather than real history, but I don't think this whole notion of hiring someone to brag for you is a Lemming Lie.

What kind of person would not be embarrassed by a person shouting their greatness only because they are getting paid to do it?

Well, after this weekend, I think I'm that sort of person. A simple emblem on a car made me feel smug. The gate agent proclaiming the list of accomplishments (first class, 100,000 thousand mile members, those with perfect teethe...) could start boarding, then it was me! As I cut through the line of "amateur" travelers, I felt great because someone (gate agent) has said awe inspiring things that separated me from the rest of the losers waiting for me to board.

I wonder in what other ways I'm strutting just because I paid rather than actually accomplishing something impressive.

Any thoughts on other ways that we are paying to feel superior and smug?

Which is more embarasing?

1. Telling your boss that that award you just paid for with your last marketing dollars was a vanity hoax?

2. Having nearly one-half of the recipients of your "Constant Contact" message about your "Best of (Insert Town/City) in the category of (Insert Business Category) Award" respond to tell you that you are an idiot.

3. The fact that you just stopped reading so that you can delete all traces of "that" email and smash the trophy case you just had installed to little bits.

I thought it was funny when I recieved this message at work becuase it was awarded for Garden Valley, Idaho where there is no other business like ours. There are no stop lights in our county, let alone people willing to sit around to vote on stuff like this.

Read this article for more details about the U.S. Local Business Association.

It became even funnier when I googled "USLBA Award" and saw the number of companies that sent out press releases. I quit after about 300 entries all saying, "The 2009 USLBA Award Program focused on quality, not quantity. Winners are determined based on the information gathered both internally by the USLBA... There were over 60,000 matches to the query which really makes this list helpful when deciding who you don't want to do business with.

I know, some companies get so many awards, they just can't keep up with them all, but they seem to find a way to send press releases about them all.

They call these types of scams Vanity Scams. They aren't necessarily illegal because you get everything you pay for. The only problem is that you are paying to advertise that you are gulible, which most of us don't want to advertise. There are a bunch of other types of Vanity Scams including paying to be included in a book with other whos.

I like to be recognized. I like awards. I would like this blog to win an award. I especially like awards of cash, baked goods, or free golf. And for some of these awards, I will allow the giver to take advantage of me, but I still get something. My hope, as a reasonable person who desires awards and gifts, is that I rarely if ever allow my vanity to make me pay to embarrass myself.

Here is my plan, if Ihave to pay for an award, it probably isn't really a reward. A quick Internet check will most likely show you two things. First, the company doesn't seem to make too much sense. In this case, once you start looking at their "Press Room", you discover they are ad hoc and have no tie to USLBA. Also, do you really want an award from a company that says, "Supporting Local Business is Good Business". For who and why?

My favorite line on their website is, "We know what you want; education, training and professional development in local business marketing." You do get all those things, and an award (for the small price of...).

Let me know your thoughts on the following.

1. What makes this sort of things so embarrasing to fall for.?
2. What other examples have you (or your friend) fallen for?
3. Would you like to form a business to help other people gain an excelent education, training and professional develop in local business markeing?

First Post

I was so disappointed when I first learned several years ago that lemmings didn't do any of the things that I had learned from watching the Walt Disney film "White Wilderness".

Only read the following article if you are open to the foundations of your existence being shaken.

http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/lemmings.asp

Okay, so that whole lemming things is a lie. The question I am left with is why the lie even exists? Why would Mr. James R. Simeon go to all that work?

Help me out! I have some ideas that I'll share later. But for now, let the explaining begin.